Kids say the most fucked up things...

This one will be short but sweet because daddy needs to win rent at the horse track today:

I currently work at a country club as a tennis pro. The club is more rural than most and the kids and parents are really swell. Jeepers, they really are!

Anyway, kids have a penchant for saying some really messed up things with a type of innocence that cannot be faked. One day we decided to have all of the nine and unders introduce themselves to the rest of the clinic. They were also to interject one thing about themselves into the conversation. This is a word for word transcript of how it went down (my personal thoughts at the moment will be in parentheses).

"Hi I am Liza and I like cats." (I like cats too!)
"Hi I am Caroline and I like cats." (Cats freaking rule)
"Ok we already had a cat, let us think of something new each time." (Way to ruin the fun coach)
"Hi I am Madison and I like dogs." (Similar, but different .. ok)
"Hi I am Will and I like to play sports." (Good thing you are at a tennis camp Will)
"Hi I am Davis and I'm going to kill you." (Ummm what?)
"I'm Mary and I like to play sports." (Maybe you and Will should get together)
"I'm Katie and my dad does illegal things .... he does!" (Uhhh"
"What does your dad do for a living?"
"He's a lawyer." (Naturally)
"I'm Stewart and I like to take walks with my friends." (A girl named Stewart? Freak)
"I'm still going to kill you!" (Ok Davis, let's chill out)
"And my dad does illegal things!" (I'm going to go drink heavily now)