Guantanamera. Guajira, Guantanamera . Mi verso es de un verde claro y de un carmin encendido

1) In news that is sure to shock anyone who has ever been around me, I have been confirmed by a doctor of having ADD. I believe his exact words regarding my inattention levels according to a short test was "off the charts".

2) If you are trying to come back to the NFL it would be best if your 2007 individual highlight film lasted longer than 56 seconds and was more than 4 plays .... just saying

3) If you like Indian food and live in the Washington, D.C. area check out Passage to India. It is owned by a friend's parents and it is evidently ridiculously good.

4) If you like Mitch Hedberg, here is a list of a bunch of jokes by him. He was amazing.

5) One time someone asked me if I knew where to buy pot. I told them I had no idea. They said "Oh you just seem like someone who would". I was also told that I am a stoner who doesn't smoke weed. Just curious as to why people think this? Because I play frisbee, never comb my hair, hang out with hippies, watch "stoner" movies, listen to "stoner" music, and think marijuana should be legalized? I'm confused why people think I smoke. Oh wait ... no I'm not confused about it at all. I'm evidently a drug-free hippie with nothing to rebel against. So no thanks on the weed, but I'll watch SpongeBob with you while you're high if you want.

6) If you are working as a bartender at an event with an open bar and there is a two drink at a time limit and the lines are insanely long and someone asks for two doubles and you ask them if one of them is for someone else ... that person will lie to you and say yes. They will then consume the equivalent of four drinks while getting right back in line to do it again. Then they will write a really long sentence that wasn't funny to tell hypothetical you all about it. And they will end sentences with prepositions.

7)I like to sing really girly songs when I drive in my car. I also like to dance when I do this. Once I did this while driving with my sister. I told her "I forgot to tell you, your brother is like a quarter gay." She laughed. Then she said "It's cool, your sister is like half lesbian." Then she danced like Ellen Degeneres. Siblings!

8) I have a female friend. Well, I have many female friends. I just want to discuss this one in general. Anyway, we basically have the same personality. Except for one thing. She is more masculine than I am. Basically, looking at her is like looking in the mirror and seeing someone who is female, but more masculine than me, with the same set of emotions. The point of #s 7 and 8 ... I probably am not what you refer to as a "guy's guy".

9) I played goalie for an intramural soccer team in an 8 team tourney this week. We won 2-0, then won 1-1 (3-1 in a shootout), then lost 3-2 (in order the goals were deflected off my own defender, very nice shot, through my legs as i slid on a breakaway, perfectly timed toe poke through my legs when I misread my own defense). It was a ton of fun and I actually played really well. I also got kicked in my head and almost dropped a ball into my own goal for no apparent reason (not on the same play). The highlight however was me catching the ball while well outside of my own box. I placed it on the ground really fast, yelled "Fuck" and walked back to my goal. When the team tried to scoot in too close for their free kick I had to tell them "no, you have to move back ... like shockingly and embarrassingly far away from the box".

10) "Babies are the worst STD... at least AIDS has the decency to kill you." When studying histology goes wrong, lab version. Thank god that class is over.

11) This fact only brings more questions ... questions such as "Why did they taste it?!"