Letter to the Editor

I wrote for my college paper for a short period of time. During that time we did a parody of our archrival's school newspaper. For that, I wrote a letter to the editor from Sean May. All you need to know about him, if you don't know who he is, is that he was a little hefty for a basketball player and it was fun to pretend he was an idiot. I don't know if he was an idiot and he was never really that fat.

I found that paper. I hope you enjoy it.

To the Editor:
Yo. Put a deep fryer in the cafeteria already. The recent addition of Hostess cupcakes and candy bars was a step in the right direction, but how am I to stay in prime shape if they aren't deep fried?

While we are updating our foods, why can't we get a deal with Hardee's to get Western Bacon Thinkburgers for lunch every day?

I also think we should use more pork in our menus here at UNC. If you dress it up with a different type of cheese every night, or just a stick of butter, pork can be used more than once a week.

Also, since when did sausage become a breakfast-only food? Let's have some of that every meal .. with gravy. Lots of chunky gravy.

Speaking of breakfast, since when do eggs only have white parts? Can we bring back the yellow/ My bacon-sausage-three cheese omelets do not taste the same with egg whites. Peace.

Shawn Mae
Junior (I think)
Early Ronald McDonald Studies

(Editor's note: This letter was found under our door written in blue crayon and refers to no particular article we have ever published)

Personally, I think it may try a little hard at times to be funny. But I really like the sausage as breakfast-only food part still.