We don't need no water....

So there I sat. Going over the order and procedures of a clinical exam I was to be tested on the next afternoon. I was nearly ready to go home when a sudden noise caught my ear.

Sirens blared. A mechanical voice informed me there was an emergency and I was to evacuate the building.

The normal human response: okay I will calmy evacuate the building immediately.
My response: finish up what I needed to finish, throw away my trash, log off the computer, take my books back to my desk thus taking me further from the exit, walking toward the exit, remembering I had a video camera on my phone, turning around and filming the proceedings and the cool effect of the lights flashing in a dark room, then exited the building while still filming.

From the moment I heard the alarm to the moment I exited the building: 7.5 minutes.

I personally blame fire drills in grade school, high school, and college. They worked too well. Their goal: to keep everyone calm, get everyone safely out of the building, and get everyone to an area where they can be accounted for. What they did: made me believe every single fire alarm is fake. Even at 1:08 AM in a building that is part of a research complex.

Despite the very real possibility there was an emergency, I never believed there actually was a reason to evacuate. I acknowledged it was more likely in this scenario than in any other fire alarm I had heard, but sat at the computer copying clinical exam steps.

A little bit ago this similarly happened in the middle of class. We were told to use the nearest exit to evacuate the building. 100% of the class walked passed the nearest stairs. Why? It was cold and we wanted our jackets, gloves, and hats. We also chatted and joked about the lack of urgency in everyone. Then we stood outside, all bundled up, and complained we were going to have to make up that class later.

I don't know what would make me believe there actually was a fire in a building I was occupying. Smelling smoke would make me think someone burnt popcorn for the 80th time. Hearing people say fire would make me think they were not very good at making appropriate jokes. Everyone running away from a location would make me think "I really need to see what is causing all of those people to run away." Even seeing fire would not worry me if it was small enough.

Basically I need one of two things: seeing a large, uncontainable fire or (and I steal this from Dave Attell) if I see a naked man sprinting away from something with his member just flopping about. He obviously is scared out of his mind. I will run and ask questions later. Questions such as: Where are your clothes? You look cold, are you cold? and What the hell are we running from?