The Family Crapfest

When I was little (ok, until I graduated high school) I read the "funnies" section everyday in the local newspaper. We all new it was the comics, but they called it the funnies. Morons. Anyway, there were always a number of good cartoons that made me laugh from time to time (Dilbert, Speed Bump, etc), the ones that were funny some of the time, the serious ones that took two weeks to tell a story, and the shitty ones.

The shitty cartoons included things like Kathy and the Family Circus. I understood Kathy being terrible because it was about a fat, middle aged, single woman (I think she married a gay guy now), and her dog. How could that be funny? Anyways, it was often ignored and its sucktitude seemed universal (except the dog sometimes made me laugh). The Family Circus however, was a shitfest that no one should have to read.

The sad thing about TFC is that it has the potential to be funny. Everyone has stories from their childhood that are really funny, kids say hilarious things, they do hilarious things, kids are ridiculous. Evidently, the Keane family is the most boring family in the history of the world.

It isn't like they are even hard to draw. They are all single circles. The kids say something stupid or they think about their dead grandpa in a creepy, watching and helping you as a ghost way. Don't get me started on the bullshit where the one kid wanders around a lot and you follow his dotted lines to where he could have gone in a straight line. Wow, that is hilarious. Or the "it is apparent you're a parent" cartoons that made me contemplate hara-kari. It is the fucking "Funnies" section asshole, make me laugh.

Friedrich Nietzsche was not too funny of a guy. He was a pretty popular philosopher however. Kind of dark at times too. However, when you put his words with the terrible Family Circus you get something much funnier. Introducing The Nietzsche Family Circus. The only way to laugh at this terrible "comic".

In closing, Mr. Keane, you are an asshole who never should have been allowed to draw, let alone be nationally syndicated. If you started comics now you would be laughed out of every publishing office in the world. Any comic that got its start in the 1950s or 1960 (1960 for TFC) should have died out long ago ... like when the hippies changed our culture. Except for Peanuts. Charles Schulz kicked ass.