New Gatorade Flavor

Introducing Crystal Gatorade .. the newest flavor in the Gatorade family. Crystal Gatorade is named for its clear coloring, clear taste, and clear lack of calories. That is right, Crystal Gatorade contains 0 calories. It also contains 0 grams of fat. No calories, no fat ... also, no sugar! However, Crystal Gatorade is not a Diet drink. It contains no artificial sweeteners or nonsugar, natural sweeteners. In fact, there is nothing artificial added to Crystal Gatorade whatsoever! It is the first Gatorade product in history to be 100% all natural! So stop by your local grocery or beverage merchant and pick up Crystal Gatorade today.

(small print) Crystal Gatorade is bottled using 100% fresh tap water from Peterborough, Ontario Canada. After being filtered through a Brita filter, Crystal Gatorade is bottled and sent directly to the store where you buy and drink it. No unnecessary chemicals or anything else! (end small print)

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The sad thing is, if this product existed, Gatorade could make it work with slick advertising and stupid people. They would claim Crystal Gatorade was amazing, better than water, though potentially not their favorite flavor. People would actually buy this for the same price as real Gatorade ... and the effects may be the same.