Girl your wish is my command, I submit to your demands

Top Ten Facebook Wall Posts on my wall (my comments will follow in bold):

10. November 2, 2005 -- I don't wanna sound queer or nothin' but I think unicorns kick ass! (I have no idea what this is in reference to, which makes it that much better)

9. May 26, 2007 -- the repercussions of tonight will echo in eternity... (He is actually quoting me from Cinco de Mayo that year)

8. August 13, 2006 -- Please Listen to Bea Arthur (Who doesn't love Bea Arthur? Pharynx, Larynx, Bronchiole, Alveoli ... it's a mnemonic)

7. October 2, 2006 -- shit, i just bought some african statues and some new japaneses ladies to make my shoes..but besides that ive been holding some little girl hostage in my dorm (I believe he is trying to refernce Dave Chappelle ... but it is just weird)

6. September 10, 2006 -- pandas are godless killing machines. the bamboo myth is to take people by surprise when they rip their face off with their fangs. be careful (The Pandas are coming so hide under your beds, the pandas are coming to rip your ass to shreds!)

5. May 31, 2007 -- fabio's doing great...racing some horses, then getting some sex, fighting some pirates, getting more sex, eating something exotic and delicious, more sex, finding some treasure...and yes, more sex.

i think his life sounds great (This was from a girl who was reading a cheesy romantic novel. If we are both 60 and single [and alive], we are getting married)


4. October 10, 2005 -- Instead of a tell your sister hi, I get Tell your sister she's a dirty whore???? No Lucky Charms for you (I can be a bastard sometimes ... she made Lucky Charms for a living ... all in good fun)

3. May 9. 2006 -- are you a stand-in for a 70's porn? (I had a mustache ... but yes I was)

2. December 29. 2007 -- okay...its a big monkey....like king kong. but it's jesus' father..... (Catchphrase is an amazing game ... the girl this girl was quoting had trouble remembering the Godzilla was not a monkey)

1. July 13, 2007 -- the other night in my dream you and i were driving out of the denver country club and my car got stuck in reverse at like 35 mph and i was trying to avoid hitting the nice cars and you were speaking ebonics and smoking a blunt and laughing . . . it was pretty weird (The weirdest thing is that I don't even smoke weed ... however, this dream makes me wonder if she did that night. That and I think it would be funny to see this dream acted out)