Is that your ass or your momma half reindeer?

Everyday that I run I see dogs. People generally walk their dogs where I run. Sometimes I run by them and they bark at me. Sometimes they are afraid and move away. Sometimes they try to chase me. It is never a problem ... when they are leashed.

When they are leashed, if I get bit or attacked it is my fault for being to close to the dog. If they try to chase me, their owner stops them. However, some idiots do not leash their dogs. It is at these moments that I wish I ran with a can of mace.

Sometimes they are growling and foaming at the mouth and chasing me like I was a drumstick. I think to myself (what a wonderful world?) why is this dog so angry? Who owns such an angry dog? And, most critically, OH MY GOD STOP THAT DOG FROM ATTACKING ME. Generally, I have to sprint to get away from these dogs. These owners should die.

Other times it is just a happy dog wanting to play. I understand the thought of taking this dog off the leash. However, your dog is not trained well Gus. It will not come to you when you call it, it probably falls down the steps at Eddie Murphy's house, and says "Goony-Goo-Goo". These dogs will run as long as they can and try to take out your legs like a cat on the stairs.

So ... leash your dogs. If you don't you are a disgrace to the world. Take your dog to a dog park and let them run. If you do leash them .. thank you. I've had to jump over a leash of a crazy dog before because he ran in front of me... I didn't even get mad. However, if that dog was off his leash I would have punted him to Beijing.