She opened a book and a box of tools Sunny came home with a mission

You know what really turns me on? When a girl boldly walks up and approaches me. Even better when all she wants is to have sex. Better still when she is ethnic. Even better is when she wants to be paid for her services. Best still when she doesn't speak English. Oh, and to make it perfect, the she can actually be a guy. Dressed up like a female.

Not that I know by experience. Well....

So there I was, walking around Pelourinho in Salvador, Brasil (Yes I spell it with an s like the locals ... deal with it). Out of the entire group of our volunteers sharing the house there were about girls and two guys. I was in the front of our group when a scantily clad "female" yelled at me in Portuguese.

I decided to ignore her.

One of the Brasilians sitting along the wall began laughing uncontrollably and trying to get my attention. I finally stopped and turned around. She stared back at me. I noticed the Adam's apple, large hands, and broad shoulders. Needless to say, I was not intrigued. I turned to exit.

She decided to follow me. My grasp on Portuguese then was decent. I could follow most conversations if the topics stayed superficial enough. However, I knew very few bad words. Ok ... none. So when this "woman of the night" began assaulting me with the beauty that is guttural Brasilian Portuguese ... I was confused. However, I figured out the gist. For an amazingly low low price (I believe it was a limited offer) I could do disturbing things with or to this prostitute. I declined, while still walking away.

For the next four blocks she/he followed me. I was informed it was legal in Brasil (true fact, just ask Ronaldo). This did little to sway my judgment. The girls I were with hid their laughter and scampered to the stores on the side of the street to get away. I had to wait for them or I would be alone on the streets with this individual following me around. Therefore I did what any reasonable human being would do at this point.

I said "Não obrigado. Pergunte ele." To my rudimentary Portuguese that means "No thank you. Ask him." Then I pointed at the only other American guy around ... my roommate and the only other guy with us. He spoke not a word of Portuguese. He also had not been paying any attention. He also looked like Waldo from Where's Waldo, but that is neither here nor there. It is just funny.

So now the transvestite prostitute turned on Waldo. He was very much found .. in a state of shock, disgust, and confusion. He listened intently without much understanding of the situation. Kept asking for things to be repeated and for help with translations. The locals loved it. I walked a block away and waited.

Finally, the prostitute gave up. Waldo came looking for me. He was angry. "What was that all about?" he asked.

All I could do was laugh and apologize. I explained the situation to him. He blushed heavily. Not only did he not know that the woman was a man, but he had failed to realize she was a prostitute.

I saw her/him later sitting on the side of the road. They looked so sad. I couldn't tell if it was because they had no money or if because they didn't get to have sex or if it was simply because they were unwanted. It almost broke my heart. I began to think of all the possible ways they could have turned to this life. Optimistically maybe it was the thrill, they loved it, it was a legal job. Truthfully, the reason was probably much sadder. Desperation, no where else to turn, needing money for food or medicine.

As I walked by they didn't even notice me. They had given up on the night. I was heading to the cabs with everyone else. As I walked by her I dropped 10 real next to her. I didn't look back until I was in the cab. She was holding the money and smiling. I hope it got her through the night.