What is love ....

What is love ... and now I have that Haddaway song and "A Night at the Roxubury" in my head. Sorry.

Anyway.

What is love? Not familial love or friendly love... what is romantic love? How do you know when you are in love? People say that you "just know" when you meet the right person. Half of those people will get divorced. So maybe "just knowing" isn't enough.

I am not an expert on love. In fact, the opposite is probably true. I have thought I was in love twice in my life, but looking back on those times it seems clear I wasn't. One time I was in puppy love, not real love. The other time I took attraction and friendly love mixed together to be romantic love. They tended to agree and are now married to someone much more suitable than I ever would have been.

So while I have never truly been in love, I have been able to figure out certain traits I think are necessary for me to fall in love. These characteristics set up a kind of prototype, if you allow me to sound completely unemotional and robotic. To sound emotional, these traits all come from young women I know and are friends with. It doesn't mean I romantically love them or want to date them per se. Just that these are the traits I am most drawn to in women (evidently).

Physically ... nothing seems to matter that much. Hair color can be all across the spectrum, as long as it is a color you would find in nature. Same with eye color. Height, hair length, etc. doesn't seem to matter at all. The only physical trait that I really seem to care about is if they are healthy and that is tied mostly into something in their personality.

As I have realized, love is not tied to looks. Sure you need to be attracted to the person, but someone who is described as "pretty" and has all the personality traits you like is much more attractive than a Brazilian supermodel who has the personality of a toaster. And not a toaster-oven. Just a toaster.

Personality is the key and here is my checklist (in no particular order):

• Athletic -- I am athletic and I think it says a lot about a person whether they do something sports related or not
• Confident -- If you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for me to believe in us
• Intelligent -- This includes both common sense and "book smarts" ... ditzy isn't cute when it is a pattern
• Independent -- No one likes it when people become a couple and no longer resemble themselves and/or cannot function without the other
  
• Funny -- I like to laugh a lot so they better make me laugh or at least have a really good sense of humor. I also joke around a lot and it is more fun when someone gives you shit right back
  
• Curious -- I like to try new foods, see weird films that I have never heard of, and explore places I have never been
• Laid-back -- There are times when you need to be aware of things and proactive, but worrying and stressing over every little thing is not my style
• Balanced -- I like when girls are equally comfortable in sweats and a t-shirt as they are in a dress. Too much of either is bad
• Low Maintenance -- If we are going out to eat, it shouldn't take 45 minutes to get ready. It should take like 10. Taking 45 minutes to get ready (or more) on special occasions is perfectly fine, that is different
• Thinks for self -- There are many issues that come down to personal opinion that we don't need to agree on ... but I want someone who has come to those opinions on their own, agreement or not

There may even be more things, who knows. Do I sound too picky? Does someone like this exist? Maybe I am shooting for the moon or my bar is too high. I don't think so though. That person is out there. I know it.