Wednesday, April 1, 2009

When I wake up early in the morning lift my head, I'm still yawning. When I'm in the middle of a dream, stay in bed, float upstream

So this one time I got hooked up with wires and monitors. These things measured my brains waves, heart activity, oxygen content, breathing, etc.

Since this is really comfortable, I then proceeded to lay down in a bed and try to fall asleep.

In case I was too comfortable, an intercom was placed in my room so someone could listen to me while I slept. Just in case I needed help. Help for what? Being creeped out I suppose.

In case I was still too comfortable they made sure to inform me they would video tape my sleeping the entire night. Who doesn't like being watched while they sleep? Oh right, most people.

Just to drive home the point as you nestle into your bed they talk to you over the intercom. They tell you too follow their instructions so they can make sure everything is working.

Close your eyes. Check
Open your eyes. Check
Look up ... look down ... to the left ... to the right. CheckCheckCheckCheck
Breathe in deep. Hold it. Now exhale. Check
Move your right leg ... now your left. Check
Now go to sleep and don't worry about us watching you. If anything is wrong just call out we will use the key we have to your room to come "help you". Just relax and sleep. Check?

Clearly it was an awkward experience. Good thing I didn't have to stick around and take 5 naps, 2 hours apart the next day in the exact same process.

Oh ... I did.

Needless to say that may have been the creepiest thing that has ever happened to me regarding my sleep. And I was once woken up when sleeping in a tent by a two drunk friends. That I had met three weeks before. That were having sex. That were not dating. That didn't speak to each other again once the trip was over two days later.

Yeah the sleep study was not nearly that creepy ... I'd like to check the tape to make sure though

No comments: