Everybody But Us: Lions and Tigers and Bears ... oh whatever

I am not impressed nor scared by the triumvirate of lions, tigers, and bears. I bet you just said "Oh my" ... "oh my" is right. My lack of fear has nothing to do with the weakness of these animals, for they are fierce. I respect them. But I no longer fear them.

After my freshman year of college I went to South Africa. I did a little school work in Durban at the University of KwaZulu-Natal and did some service work at a disability clinic outside the city. When "finals" day came for the summer, my group mates and I turned in our work early and headed out for a weekend of camping and adventure in a rented car. Day 1, Night 1, and Day 2 went by without any serious adventures. We had fun, saw some animals, and had an amazing meal for next to nothing.

Night two got a little more interesting. We decided to camp out next to an animal reserve. We paid for our spot (it was legit, we weren't squatting) and set up our tent next to the giant fence that was there to protect us from the animals. We cooked over an open fire as it got dark, sat around and drank. There were three of us. All three of us heard the noise. A low, slow rustling. We turned slowly with out flashlights and lit up ... a cheetah. Well .. a baby cheetah. I looked it up... there are cheetahs in KwaZulu Natal, especially on the reserves. However, this was just OFF the reserve. I moved slowly for my camera. The cheetah crept forward. I turned the camera on and ... it darted through a hole in the fence and up a tree so fast we hardly saw. I took a picture of the tree, but only got darkness and something that may have been eyes.

We may or may not have decided to cross a pedestrian bridge into the reserve "armed" with bottles as weapons. (hint: we did) After about ten steps the trail went out and we could barely see the bridge so we went back. A smart choice. We then ate and at varying times, went to sleep.

The next morning we went on a hippo cruise. The only highlight/lowlight was the drunk Irish man pouring Irish whiskey into my hot chocolate. All I wanted was hot chocolate. Not hot chocolate with alcohol that tasted like crap. Thanks a lot.

We then drove through the nature reserve and went snorkeling in a protected bay. In KwaZulu Natal, much of the beach is protected with shark nets so sharks cannot get close and attack humans. So the water is very safe. We saw numerous fisherman on the sand and in boats. They looked at us kind of funny, but then again it was like 60 degrees out. The snorkeling was rough because of the cold and dark water .. that and my fear of open waters. So I decided to head to the beach a little earlier than my friends. It was then I saw a fisherman waving frantically at me. I waved back and jogged over to him. This was our conversation:

"Hey, get your friends out of the water!"
"Why is something wrong?"
"Well.." he gets cut off by the sound of a speed boat flying onto the beach, evidently we are in the middle of that path and I see another coming.
"GUYS get out of the water!" somehow my friends hear and get to shore
"Thanks for letting us know about the boats"
"Fuck the boats, the shark nets are down ... there are probably sharks in the water"
"Oh..."

I think my heart stopped at that second until I realized I was safe and on land. We laughed it off and hopped in the car. We then had to drive through the nature reserve to get back to the main road to Durban. Unfortunately, a large rhino decided to block our way. Much like our car he looked solid and was a dark grey and, though capable of running, was now sitting in the middle of a road. We decided to just wait it out. We turned off the car and I pulled out my camera. The driver of the vehicle (not me) decided to honk. The rhino, in turn, decided to... charge. Straight at the car, we were immobilized by fear. Well, fear and lack of power to our car since we had turned it off. At the last second, the rhino veered off into the grass and stopped. He turned, stared at us, and began munching grass.

Five minutes later we exhaled. I took a picture. We started the car and drove off.

We made it back home safe and sound without further animal disturbances. So lions and tigers and bears? Nothing. Save the "Oh my" for cheetahs and rhinos and sharks.

Here is Mean Mr. Rhino: