Mean muggin....

A friend of mine wanted me to incorporate some mug shots from the L.A. Times into the blog. Since Andy Dick was arrested for being, well, for being Andy Dick, the L.A. Times posted the top 25 celebrity mug shots. I feel like a few of them needed commentary:

Shia LeBeouf -- Note to Mr. LeBeouf, if you cannot grow decent facial hair just stop trying. You look like a sixth grader with a crustache. Also, this is a mug shot .. not a yearbook photo. Wipe that stupid grin off your face. How high are you right now? Nice hoodie ... tool. He looks like the wannabe kid from high school who drinks and smokes weed to be cool only to end up being drawn on when he passes out and pisses his pants. Even I want to kick his ass here.


Mel Gibson -- Sir, no matter how much money you offer me I will not perform acts of sadomasochism on your body. How creepy does this man look? He was so revved up this night calling women "sugar tits" and being anti-semitic that he has one eye brow cocked at the person taking the photo. Also, nice shirt .. fucker.


Michael Jackson -- oh holy shit ... yeah that is normal. In no way did this man ever, ever inappropriately touch any child. Well, no female children at least. Is anything on that face real? The hair? The mouth? The nose? It even looks like he stole the runaway bride's eyes. Ok, I may puke if I look at that thing again.


Nick Nolte -- most people jump straight to the hair on this one, but look closer. How is someone who is so disheveled -- hair a mess and shirt collar screwed up to start -- have his top button buttoned? And look at that shirt. Holy crap. Cliff Huxtable wouldn't have worn that print if it were made available in sweater form. It isn't even uniform. The pink flowers abruptly end at the buttons to give way to yellow flowers. I honestly think if Nick Nolte puked on that shirt it would be an improvement. Nolte almost beats out Gary Busey for most messed up individual in this picture.

Bonus:

James Brown -- RIP James ... LA Times did not put this one up, probably out of respect for Mr. Brown. I have no qualms. It is amazing. How old was he here? Look at that hair! Amazing! Is he wearing a robe? A towel draped over his shoulders? A Batik shirt? I want answers. Also ... is he smiling? Or is he about to attack? I have never seen anyone so confused .. oh wait yes I have ... and it was James Brown: