Yeah, it's a conniption fit on the microphone lit. I take it higher like a bird on a wire

Many people will be driving this midweek break to visit family. This reminds me of a Christmas drive that is one to remember.

We opened our presents on Christmas Eve which is super exciting for a kid. Let me tell you. It was like being able to test out every ride in a new theme park that you already purchased a season pass for the day before it opens. It's equal parts awesome, mania, euphoria, and over way too soon.

That is always the problem with Christmas. Open gifts, excitement, then ... done. At like 9am the gifts are done. But then you get to play with them ... we had to go to bed. In the morning we got to hop in the car for the eight hour drive to grandma's that is still etched into my brain one flat and boring farm after another ... with a giant arch jammed in between. You almost hoped you got that Goosebumps or Matt Christopher book to distract you for an hour or that sweet Tag Team tape for your auditory enjoyment.

Anyway, it was a warm December unlike what Matt Costa would have you believe. We ripped through our presents like dingos through babies and, once our present opening thirst was satiated, we packed up and headed to bed.

We awoke to snow outside. Not a few flakes. Not a dusting. Not even check Snow Fox to see if school is closed snowfall. This was a "Go back to bed, I will make cocoa and we will not even look outside for fear our eyes will freeze" type of snow and weather. Not so much depth ... just icy and crappy. Obviously we jumped in our sweet station wagon and made like Fivel.

We hadn't gone far when our car decided to try a little maneuver (this same car was responsible for a wonderful summer trip that I should write about next week; needless to say if it were a superhero it would not have been Mr. Fantastic). By maneuver I mean it decided to do its best Nancy Kerrigan impression. No, it did not get struck by something and cry out "WHY" while Tonya Harding was off being ugly somewhere. It attempted a triple lutz. Or sowcow. (I know you don't spell it like that, but it looks funny and I like it). Unfortunately, this is not a fun move on the highway with a semi blaring down on you.

Other cars around us were fine and avoided us nicely. The semi that was perfectly framed in my side window was not equipped for quick stops in the snow. Instead Mr. Semi-truck (technically the driver did, but whatevs)swerved around us, into the emergency lane, onto the grass on the side of the road and around and past our very, very silent car.

My dad moved the car to the side of the emergency lane. We all got our breaths. Thought processes were as follows (guessing).

Me: "They should make a Goosebumps book about this. Like a semi truck that is a robot and tries to kill us, or maybe help us. R.L. Stine is a genius." (I had no idea what transformers were)

Sister: "Great, here I am stuck with my family and then I almost died. Actually, I would have rather died than finish this drive, at least we get grandma's cooking soon."

My mom: "Oh my god, we almost died. Everything is too unsafe. I will forever try to scare my loved ones into being as safe as humanly possible in situations where they are generally relatively safe. I should have been driving because there is no way I would have hit the ice hidden under snow that every car in front of us somehow had no trouble going over." (Love ya mom, but you a wart. A worry wart. Not an actual wart. Nor a warthog. I'll stop now."

My dad: *String of expletives and obscenities that I had never heard before*

What was actually said:
My dad: "We all okay?" (nodding) "Okay, well let's get back on the road"
My mom: nods
My sister: ignores everyone
Me: "Look the truck almost fell into that huge ditch!"

It took about twenty minutes and then we were fine. I remember car rides being relatively quiet when we were all there, but who knows. I was always reading. Or we listened to the radio. This one was no exception.

All quotes are estimations/guesses/poetic license since I obviously only remember the truck and not the words ... I just remember silence and my dad doing his best to stay calm and reassure us we were fine and just wanting the drive to be over, my mom not really knowing what to do since she was in the passenger seat (she probably asked to drive at some point and my dad insisted on finishing), my sister was near that teenage phase where doing anything with your family is embarrassing, especially dying with them, and I was off in my little dream world as usual.

To my family on Thanksgiving. Sorry I won't see y'all. Have a good one. Try not to freeze up north mom and sis. Dad try to get some turkey before the boys get to it and it disappears.